Types of “Japa” friends

If you’re in Nigeria then you know it’s Japa Season! I’m pretty sure almost everyone you know has left to the “juuuuuk or Canada” and you’re contemplating it too or you’ve even started the japa process ( my congratulations are in order ) well this post is not about you. It is about your friends that have left you for “greener pastures”

Chima your 100lv bestie just posted pictures of her passport, pink crocs, airfoil and “welcome to Heathrow”. You’re really shocked that she didn’t tell you about her japa plans and you’re just finding out with the rest of the world that your friend has japa! Well, she didn’t tell you because you might just be one of the village people that will influence the UK Embassy to deny her visa or even take charge of the airspace and crash the plane and we don’t want that to happen not after constant warnings from her mum and her mum’s pastor not tell anyone about her travel plans until she sets foot in the abroad. So you see, no hard feelings dear it wasn’t personal, she really didn’t tell anyone so don’t overthink it…

Then there’s Tunde your work colleague who dropped his resignation letter last month with so much joy and happiness. It didn’t come as a shock to you because he told you and anyone who cared to listen that he was applying to schools in the UK for his Masters and got admission into University of Hull. You’re not really impressed at the choice of the school because it’s just another random school in the Uk but we all know at this point everyone just wants to Japa and it’s not about the choice of school or even the Masters Program. Anyways, be mentally prepared for the upcoming YouTube videos of “How I relocated to the Uk” “ How to apply for scholarship” yidi yidi yada …. You know the Drill. (Please like share and subscribe! Don’t be a bad belle ) Thanks.

“So she really married that old white man? Some girls can be so desperate, that’s a loveless marriage nowww, just because of SCHENGEN VISA” You can gossip all you want and give your unsolicited opinions but Amaka , the third wheel in your girl group is now in Germany with her German Expatriate lover. She will pepper you with her new life on Snapchat and Instagram posts and you will have to congratulate her when she gives birth to her cute, biracial babies less be tagged a hater.

You told Segun your church member to give up on his japa plans after his futile attempt to get UK , US and even UAE visa , he tried it all ,spent all his saving.. It was obvious that SAPA was going to catch up with him if he didn’t give up the JAPA dream. He even embarked on marathon prayers and fasting, attended all the special services… “ Segun maybe God wants you to stay in Nigeria, can’t you see it?” Immediately that statement came out of your mouth, Segun tagged you an “enemy of progress” so you decided to shut your mouth and watch Segun get his breakthrough and Miracle. Segun serves a Living God because a month after your unwanted advice, he sent you a text saying he was leaving the country. You congratulated him but wondered why he didn’t give you specifics. I mean you guys are cool so he could have told you the country he was relocating too. After six months of rubbing abroad pictures in your face without disclosing his location, you found out through another church member that he’s in Lebanon, you let out a little laugh , rolled eyes and muttered “so it’s even Lebanon”. News flash !roll your eyes all you want, Lebanon is not UK, USA or Canada but it is definitely Abroad and Lebanese pounds sound better than Naira right?

The pressure is getting “wesser” and it might be getting to you because you don’t want to be the only one left in Nigeria by December. So on that note I say “ your own time will come “ if that is what you want but if not then you can join hands with your family and the rest of your friends to make Nigeria Great!

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