In house contributor at Safespace, Precious takes us on a tour of her mind and thoughts on sex.
A not so educational sex class.
Dear reader,
Here’s a simple tale of a girl struggling to write on sex without seeming pervy. So if you’re reading this, you’re either horny, bored out of your mind, or a perv. I can’t tell you how good it feels to meet you — my fellow horny-boredoutofmind-perverts.
I am Precious and I’ll be taking you on a tour through my almost sexy mind. Everything you’ll read from this point is like listening to my thoughts.
No one has arranged thoughts so do not expect mine to be. Please wear your seat belt.
Mind door opens
Unsolicited fun fact…
I have tried to listen to sex-related songs for inspiration and I’d like to say that I’m not feeling as inspired or “empowered with sexual knowledge” as I thought I’d be. I’m more curious than sex inclined.
Hold on, we’re coming to the sex part, stay with me.
I have this line from one of those songs repeatedly playing in my head and it goes “I touch myself just thinking about you yeah, what that mouth do yeah”. When this song pops into my head, a rather dramatic scene ensues.
*cue an interview going on*
Me: So stranger, do you touch yourself when you think of your partner?
Stranger: *gives me straight up dirty looks that I kind of deserve*
Exactly!
So explain something to me, how do you think of someone and touch yourself?
I mean I think of slamming Shawn Mendes on a table and doing him like an assignment when I think about him but I don’t think that counts. Sometimes, I picture a ‘two to tango’ scenario but I never picture me touching myself.
Do you?
Another sex thought barges in …
I think of “switching my positions for you.” Then I ask myself why is there even a need to change positions? I mean…
Some things about this whole sex concept are really funny in all honesty.
But all jokes and crazy thoughts aside, sex is needed.
Why don’t we talk about it more often? Why are we deceiving ourselves?
We should talk about receiving kisses. From your neck down. To your thighs. In a spine-shivering way. We should know that we are responsible for having great sex and feeling all that pleasure.
We should be ready to do it and make it as adventurous and enjoyable as possible.
I know a crazy story that warns me of the dangers of not understanding sex.
A couple walks into a hospital for a check-up. They had tried — and failed to get a child. While the wife was being examined, the doctor found bruises on her belly button.
First, they thought it was another case of abuse. Later, they found her that the dude in question puts his equipment on her navel. That’s creepy. But they thought they were doing it right.
People, my job is to give you all the fine stories that teach you sex. We’ll talk about relationships too.
Stay with me. I think you should think about sex this weekend.
Yours truly,
Something sex-related.
*Hums Ariana Grande’s positions* Because I’ll be switching my positions for you …
Engage us on our social media platforms! Thanks .
