In this article, Precious opens up about her sexuality; experiences, uncertainties and not quite having it all figured out.
I’m Bi/Asexual?
The title is probably confusing enough but I decided to sprinkle a little bit of, I don’t know -fun? Let’s see how it goes.
And I don’t know if this is necessary but hey you reading, you can call me Precious and it’s nice to meet you even if we might never really meet. Now, to satiate your curiosity, you’re probably trying to make this make sense when you discover that I’m both bisexual and asexual at the same time.
Aha, use your dictionary: https://www.ldoceonline.com/
But for context, and to enlighten those who may not know: To be asexual is to lack any form of sexual attraction or as Google put it- “not involving sexual activity, feelings, or associations; non-sexual” .And to be bisexual, quite contrary to that, is simply to be attracted to both genders. Let’s see how dramatic Google gets with this definition too.
Seeing how extremely both ideas contradict, I can almost see you coming at me with your pitchforks, knives and spoons for stalling so much. But easy, easy, I’m talking. For a while I’ve really not had any sexual attraction to anyone, emotional ties? Yes. The moment it got sexual, I suddenly want out. At first, I didn’t think too much about it but as soon I got to the realization that I was asexual, a sudden attraction to girls came in. It was something I didn’t even want to explore, but it was intensely there. So I’m at this point where I’m torn between “am I asexual or just a lesbian?” But for some reasons, I didn’t want to go down that path, one reason being I didn’t want to add anything else to my fight, if that makes sense.
So here I am, still confused if I’m gay or asexual, I get closer to this guy. And maybe I’m not so old but I’m old enough to know when I like someone and here’s where I lose it. Asexual, straight, yet gay. What to do? What exactly am I ? I’d been pondering on this for some days and while I really don’t have an answer yet, I’m not so panicky. Like MJ, a colleague always says, “no pressure”, I accept that I’m still young and still have time. Enough time to figure out my sexuality, know who I am and all of those things.
And this might not be the ending you expected but dear people in your twenties, breathe, no pressure. Take your time, because all you’ve got now is time.
And yes for now, I’ll stick with being bi/asexual all together.
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