Little back story, think of the one writing this letter as one who’s still living in his dad’s house. He’s 24-years-old. I mean, he’s got a few jobs, but he just loves to stay home. He’s failed more times than he’ll ever honestly describe.
If you’re reading this, it means I finally succeeded in sitting my 90kg ass in a chair and all my procrastination in a 2 am bowl of garri, groundnuts, and ice water. (I’ve left the six-pack and fit-fammy thingy for you guys, ire oo)
Remember when we talked about being victims of certain circumstances beyond our control in a few letters back? (you can’t remember? are you sure you read it laideez?). Well, today’s letter zooms into what you do when these seemingly helpless situations arise.
I know the times have gone a little tougher than you hoped it’d be, especially if you’re a Nigerian living in Nigeria. Well, take a deep breath, and another one while you’re at. For the next few minutes, try not to think so much about your data expenses this year (hahahah!) You literally just tried calculating that. Shior!
I sit here listening to Jon Bellion’s “Hand of God” as I reminisce over the few events that have transpired in my two dozen years of conscious existence. Some of these events will probably shape the course of my future actions. “What if who I hoped to be was always me?” I ponder.
On failures and disappointments:
My earliest memory of failure was failing French in primary three. Don’t blame the eight-year-old me. Each time my polyglot father tried to speak French to me, I mostly responded with murmurs of “Bien! Bien!” meaning “Good! Good!”. Well, the failures took a pause for the rest of primary school, and decided to press play when I experimented with truancy in secondary school. I kinda managed to write jamb twice before a certain federal university in southwest Nigeria admitted me.
Y’all know that feeling when you’ve had high hopes about the outcome of a particular situation or a move that you’ve made, only for your expectations to plummet straight down and the remnants of your hope be discarded like empty pure water sachets?
I’ve been disappointed a few times in my life. However, I’ve been disappointed by my own failures, most notably the back to back flunking of a very despicable freshman course! Dear God, I still failed that course after several bouts of prayers and hours of struggling to read those photocopied notes and bulky texts. It took the fourth round of almost repetitive re-writes to finally break free from the shackles. Pretty bad huh?
Let’s not even imagine the mangled condition my grade point was in due to those rewrites. It didn’t feel like someone put my candle under a bushel, I couldn’t even see the damn candle, it was beginning to feel like I had no light in me. (ye! who off light??)
Several times while still in school, I wondered what awaited me after graduation. Luckily for me, the university senate cleared my batch just a few weeks before the Coronavirus pandemic shook the world!
On job offers:
The picture seemed to be forming clearly, as I was awaiting a graduate internship and I had just got another entry-level offer from a consulting firm in Lagos. I patiently watched as these prospective job offers turned from green to yellow and eventually red (thank you COVID!). A few other job offers came along but the pay wasn’t worth the hours I’d be spend counting fishing boats across the Lagos waterfront.
There was a subtle hope of thirty-three thousand naira allowance for 2020, but the Federal Government felt I could wait another ten months into the year before deploying me. Thankfully, the season is begun already, can’t wait to get it over with.
In the meantime, I’ll do my best to enjoy each moment and I suggest that you do the same too. I’ll learn from the failures and defeat, taking my L’s and moving on. I’ll also savor my wins and bask in my victories as I chart the course for greater and grander schemes!
Have you had a few disappointments that you can relate to? Just like Gatsby, keep your eyes on the green light.
No shaking! We move!
