#TWENTIESWEEKENDLETTER02
An Igbo proverb says: “I don’t know where to start from” — is usually the first line for every Nigerian birthday epistle.
I know where to start from. I most definitely do. Permit me to be a low-budget motivational speaker this once — but, winners are failures who tried one more time. I lost my biggest goal of 2020 — and believe me, I’m not only trying one more time. I’m trying until I win.
The gist goes like this: After graduation in December 2019, it was clear that all law graduates from the uni I attended would not be admitted at the Nigerian Law School until after 18 months of staying at home (law graduates from other schools usually get admitted almost immediately). I remember my village people came all the way to my uni that December to dance and celebrate their temporary win over my situation.
But my God is not a fan of Nike flip-flops; he never flops. I got a short term offer to work at one of UK’s prestigious international law firm months later. That day was unbelievable — the mail was sitting on my screen undisturbed and I was too nervous to reply. My baby and I were in a car later that afternoon and she kept nudging me to draft a response mail.
“Don’t be a chicken, Oga type something…”
But there I was at the driver’s seat — I couldn’t type. Because, e shock you? E shock me too. I feel like where we come from, we’re resigned to taking the most minimal risks. Nobody shoots shot so far. We all want to stay safe and resign ourselves to the assumption that maybe, truly we’re not good enough. But —
“I am not a man of preaching of small chances; I am a fight, I am a big move, I am a big risk. I am a Ind…”
When you ask me why you need to do the most — my question for you is “why not?” It’s just one life. One life, and that’s it for every one of us. Nobody gets the chance to come back. No extra-sheets, extra-time or extra semesters. This is all you get. You’re merely a footprint in the sands of time, so why shouldn’t it count?
So, I got the internship offer — best part about the whole arrangement was that I was permitted to resume work after the pandemic. It was at that point that I equalized against my village people.
I started my work visa arrangements post-lockdown; excelled in my IELTS, paid a sum of money for processing fees. The final stage of my work-visa sponsorship process was for my employer to sign an agreement binding the firm to the United Kingdom visas and Immigration (as stipulated by law). In the most surprising turn of 2020, my firm just said no.
No. Just no.
The firm and I did some back and forth for about a week. I phoned my contacts, e-mailed my networks, played all the cards on my table — ace, jack, queen, king and even recharge cards. Still, no. My disappointment came on 20–10–20, the same day this country died in a massacre at Lekki. I remember waiting for everyone to retire to bed that night so I could walk around my home in tears.
All I wanted was excellence. After my disappointment, it felt like dreaming was such a crime.
But then, why did I fail? Because, I tried in the first place. Maybe that’s what the 20s is about. Maybe “tomorrow, we go again” is the new national pledge. I’ve learnt that in any struggle between water and a rock, the water wins not by virtue of strength but by reason of persistence.
More importantly, I’ve learnt that the little things matter. I’m no longer at that space where I look at middle-age folks and wonder why they settled for such a mediocre life. I have very few allergies and settling for little things is one of them. Ironically, my biggest wins of 2020 were the very little things I was going to ignore in my search for a grand dream.
It’s okay to dream. But while you dream for London, plan for Lagos.
Failure feels incomplete and I didn’t plan on sharing my story until I’d used my Ben-10 powers to make a comeback win. But, Ben-10 never show face till date and I go comot im teeth just now. But then, I’m still fighting every second because no story is complete except when you say it is. Every day I wake up, I try again.
I recall I didn’t want to share this but my baby said something that stuck: “You don’t need a complete story”.
Of what use is sharing only our successes when we fail just as often?
Tomorrow, we go again.
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