Our writer this week is in his 20s, obviously. This time, he gives us one of the most vulnerable takes we’ve seen so far on love and relationship. He is fearless and funny in his depiction of age 20s relationships as it relates to guys. His good ol’ romance with his girlfriend did not pay off in the face of what? Guys who had money and who were ‘better suitors’. Hold your breath. This new series would stun you!
“My fair share of 20’s stroke”
I will damn the consequence of typing about how I feel in my 20s. I want to be vulnerable. You know we don’t have therapy sessions where we come from? The closest to a therapy session is the dysfunctional Guidance Counsellor you had in high school whose side hustle was being a snitch for the school authorities. The only being who provides therapy where we come from is God. Yeah, you saw that right. He solves a great deal of problems when we talk to him. But is it all problems God’s gonna solve? Like, you can’t exactly tell him to help you in smashing that hot girl you are eyeing without falling in love with her. Or can you pray to succeed in the exam you cheated in? Come on, even David hid his dirty garments from God. Well, some people do thanksgiving in Nigerian churches for successful scams. But that’s a first. Nigeria’s always a first.
The idea of venting about the backlashes of being in your twenties is overwhelming. The fact that there isn’t anyone to talk to even makes it worst. But a man must survive now, yeah? By the way, all the gossip you tell your friends do not count as therapy. I don’t stand to be corrected!
There are few damning experiences I had in my early twenties — majorly due to a broke financial state. I had a babe in my first year in school — thanks to my wingman who made it happen. If you’re broke in cash, do not be broke in loyal friends. I started dating this girl and it was all rosy in the first semester. She had wanted to study law but wasn’t offered admission to study law. I on the other hand, got admitted to study law. So I was a shoulder to cry on and RIDE on. So while we were dating in my broke state, the realities of being broke started setting in. Do not be deceived, money engineers love. Let me give you necessary info for context. When we started dating, she was a 5/10. As a seasoned ‘realtor’ who understood the possibilities of the appreciable value of a female prospect, I knew she was going to upgrade in the coming years into a 7 or 8/10. Trust me, my analyses are usually topnotch. She eventually became a 7.5. I was right! So back to the gist, my woes started when I heard big cars pullover at her hostel. Heard from who? Oh, having an intel on your babe is also a part of the dating process — I will explain that some other time. But you need intel on your spouse, and even when you don’t, your friends and haters will mail you some. I tried my best to remain cool-headed about it, so as not to look like a loser. I don’t think ladies appreciate when you look all walked up about situations like this. Of course, they like when you are jealous, but not when you are acting ‘weird’. It was not like I fantasized about the thought of having a car, but at least let me have an ace up my sleeves. By an ace, I mean, something that shows I have the game under my control. But nope, there was always no money on ground. None.
During the blissful months of our dating, our rendezvous point was the dark corners of the university premises, I hope some of you can relate? Security men and giant flashlights were our cue to stop and continue another day. More like — “darling, let’s go face the school disciplinary panel and then come back here to make out”. Imagine making out in the dark and the only audible sounds are that of mouths against each other and the distant chirps of crickets under the cool breeze. While pulling your pants down to get into the main thing, Boom! there’s a flashlight on your butt from a security guard. But like two goats in love, we never stopped.
Is there any lady her age who’d have had a better offer to leave harsh realities for what I sometimes tagged ‘adventure’ from a suitor and will not go for it? Even in your morally upright mind — won’t you go for something that offers more comfort than a romantic date under the staircase of University buildings and flashlights from security guards.
We had our first official fallout at the end of our first year in school. I was about to write my final paper for the session when she called me aside and told me “Guy, I don’t think this is working again.”
It felt like everything went against my senses at that point — I could not process the thought and I am sure some of you who suck at rejection even when you don’t betray your emotions facially can relate. I felt myself palpitating and having panic attacks. I told her that I will talk to her about it later as I felt I was not in the right frame of mind to process what I had just heard.
To be continued..
