Another subtle reminder that this is sex and — relationship, sorry if I’d dwelled on the other part so much that you almost forget that it’s more than just sex. Anyways, I’d be talking about friendship today. And this article will be a combination of ideas of mine and a couple of people I interviewed.
First, I’d say friendship is underrated and the word friend is overused. Don’t come at me with your pitchforks and knives please. Well you can if you want to. I said what I said.
Ella, one of my “interviewees” believes friendship is a sacred thing, similar to a relationship but a bit different because no sexual part is involved.
Friendship should be two people giving each other their all. A friend is literally your go to place if you are sad or not, someone that listens, understands every bit of what you are going through. She also feels there must always be quarrels in friendship because if there’s none, it’s unreal. A friend is literally your sibling from another family. No bad blood, just pure vibes and understanding.
Some people misuse this term. Knowing someone doesn’t mean they are your friend, there’s a difference between acquaintance and friendship.
There has to be the presence of love for friendship to work.
And I agree with her. I recently have had to deal with people getting upset when I state that they’re simply acquaintances and not friends. Often, folks believe in supporting a person, or maybe stand by you during a trying situation that they happened to witness and that makes you friends but I don’t think friendship works that way. I don’t think hurt should be all that unifies.
This might seem slightly contradictory to what many people believe too but like Ella said, fights happen. Not necessarily fist fights come on. But fights have to happen or it’s not real because even with our family, clashes tend to happen. Realistically speaking, if each one of us were cloned and are exactly the same as our clones, at some point in time, there’s bound to be conflict and this not happening means there’s a lot of keeping things in away someone you ought to be open to. You feel me?
Another person that prefers to be anonymous thinks friendship should be filled with love. No guilt, no mind games. Love them, understand them, respect them, appreciate them. The way you will love your man or woman, love your friends that way. Put the same energy you put into your relationship into your friendship. Don’t treat them like they are just in your life for a temporary moment.
I get pissed when I see people treating their friends like trash or like they are not enough. I don’t have the energy to be showing you love when you are giving me attitude or acting treating other than what love demands. Fun fact I almost got frustrated because these guys were really speaking my mind. Many people don’t treat their friends well in comparison to their partners but I’ll talk more on this later.
And the last person says: “A friend is someone that understands me more than I even understand myself. Someone that I am myself with, that knows my emotions like a book, someone that we don’t even need to talk to communicate to understand each other. It just flows, a person I can call for help anytime of the day and not feel like I am a burden and vice versa. Someone I can tell everything and anything whether it makes sense or not, someone I can literally be stupid with and I won’t be call a child. Someone that is just the definition of availability and trust”.
Honestly, I agree with most of the things said here but I also disagree with some general ideas that to an extent have caused bridges between friends. Your friend can’t always be there for you. Your friend can’t always open up to you. There. I said it.
The thing is a relationship involves people trying to pull through life together but still, we are each person for ourselves. There are times you’d be going through stuff at the same time your friend is, and your friend knowing your situation doesn’t tell you about theirs but also isn’t able to be there for you. Now tell me, does that make your friend a bad friend? Life’s pretty complicated honestly, so while we try to achieve perfection in relationships, let’s not forget the “life factor” (basically means life happening). So I’d say, let’s try to cut our friends some slack. Some situations would hurt so much but don’t ever forget the life factor. Life happens. Cut your friends slack like you would your partner.
And that last line leads to my other point. If I was to say, I’d say friendship’s worth more than your relationships but we’re not comparing right now so I’ll just say people tend to treat friendship with such sad effort that it’s almost unworthy. You might want to overlook things and be understanding until you see your friend that “doesn’t know how to show emotions” be all over their partner. Like okay what just happened? But this is a sad reality in our world today.
People can’t do the barest minimum for their friends but would stretch the world till it becomes two different worlds for a partner.
Change your ways! Treat your friends well. Go out with your friends. Buy them gifts. Support them. Go all out for them. You chose them as friends so be a friend to them. Once again I’ll say, cut your friends slack. You see, if you’d asked me some years back on what a friend is, I’d have a lot of childish things to say but the reality is there are no specifics, we just have to keep trying to know what’s right and what’s not.
And that’s all for today my loves. If you enjoyed this read, share it with someone. Or even a lot of people.
See you next week again.
Toodles!
- Precious.
