“If you are not a trust fund kid, GET A VOTER’S CARD”
Naija is in chaos. But can you save it? I get it, Wande. I get you aren’t superman or some superhero one can marvel about in a DC universe. You’re just a normal person who wants to live, love and learn the lyrics to Buju’s latest. You care about change but it shouldn’t be at the price of your blood. Let alone, your headache. Remember the Lekki Massacre? Yes, why shouldn’t? That was when they killed your hopes and your will to exist in a country out of control. The most populated black nation — the one with such an enormous diaspora population. The ones with so many dogged young fighters just like yourself in Tech, sports, academics, fashion & creativity. The overconfident Nigerians! But for your sanity’s sake, you’re mentally checking out. The place your parents birthed you in and had your umbilical cord removed, profiles age 20’s folks like you as fraudsters and kills them. The government is quick to ban anything that liberates you like crypto and freedom of expression on Twitter. You’ve learnt that the Nigerian dream is to leave Nigeria. All your friends are slowly disappearing from Lagos and reappearing at some obscure university in East London for some masters course and a god escape out of here. Where’s the hope when the future‘s migrating? You’re not a trust fund kid — everything you have was worked for by parents who still work 9 to 5 on Lagos mainland. You can’t save a national dream when there’s a struggle to save yourself.
Reportedly, the UK aims at bringing in 600k foreign students yearly until 2030. This means one day migration will be harder, “japa” will be an unattainable luxury. You can run but you can’t run as fast from home. You can’t run as fast when the whole family can’t afford the expense of running. The dregs of the society who found their way into leadership today can only thank the great minds who ran away yesterday. The dregs have trust fund offsprings who will inherit an army of malnourished thugs who’ll also supervise their political leadership over the rot to befall home tomorrow.
Where will you be? In a 3 bedroom flat in southern France with Instagram photos as a coping mechanism that you’re really fulfilled away from home and everything we were born into.
Before you get on that flight or before we finally surrender to the Kleptomaniacs, I have one final proposal.
Let’s beat the Abuja klepto at their game. Let’s play dirty. Our own type of dirty.
Klepto don’t understand crypto. Klepto understand theft, but not tech. Klepto can’t keep up with so many things we can wield into weapons.
I’ll show you how.
But first, you need to pay a small ticket fee. That’s the first step. There aren’t many steps. But you see, to get into this concert, you need to pay up.
How do you pay up? Get their permanent voter’s card. Just geeet it. Leave the rest to us. Get it first and we’ll go on this ride that might last a lifetime.
Did I hear you say — “how do I get one?” It’s a little easy, I must say:
First, visit the link below and get familiar after you’re done enjoying this proposal.
The plan starts with us getting our Permanent Voter’s Card. Like Professor would in Money Heist, let’s call this “Plan Abuja”.
If you haven’t registered for your voter’s card before, just tap this link.
If you have registered but you haven’t had time to review your info online, just do so here.
If you registered but need to complete your application at a registration centre, check for centre nearest to you here.
If you already registered but you have beef with your parents or you’re graduating from Uni and you’ll be leaving the state, city or location you initially registered to vote — switch your voting location here.
If you registered to vote and for some reason, you want to change an info you initially registered on your voter’s card, do so here.
If you’ve registered but you haven’t been given your PVC, you can check for pick up locations here.
If you got into a fight with an Ibadan NURTW driver and he stole nothing from you but your Permanent Voter’s Card, submit a request for a replacement here.
Go on with “Plan Abuja” and wait for further instructions from the Professor.