On Forgiveness and Letting Go
Here’s something I think everyone should come to terms with, someway and somehow. Apologizing and forgiveness aren’t a deal.
Or to put in simpler terms, apologizing doesn’t equal getting forgiveness.
Due to certain experiences that I’ve gotten over the years directly and through the eyes of other people, I recently developed two new favorite sayings. One being, “Let people forgive you at their own pace” and the other being similar to what I’d stated at the beginning of this piece, “Saying sorry isn’t a magical wipe that erases your actions or the effect your actions may have had on a person.”
This a common thing I’ve noticed with people that sometimes can be upsetting, the entitlement that comes after apologizing even though they were in the wrong for even messing up from the outset. It’s like you’re ultimately made into a bad person when you don’t instantly move on from something as soon as you’re apologized to and I believe it’s wrong, selfish and rude to think like that.
It’s like a ripple effect. You mess up, someone gets hurt. Saying that you’re sorry wouldn’t take the hurt away so why would you think that you deserve to be forgiven for merely apologizing when you’re the bane of a situation?
Forgiveness, apologizing and letting go of things work differently for people because we’re all different.
I know people who just let things as soon as they get apologized to and people who take their time to heal and watch you so you don’t get to hurt them again. Neither is better than the other, neither is wrong or right. What would be wrong would be expecting a certain action from a person based off your experience with another. Life doesn’t work that way and people are different.
Also, the fact that you’d handle something a certain way doesn’t mean that a person has to be that way to you. This might be disappointing to come to terms with but the fact that you’d let go of something doesn’t mean that a person has to do the same for you.
When dealing with receiving or expecting forgiveness, there’s only one right way to act: You wait, and hope that you’re forgiven.
While this can be hard, I believe a lot of things would be easier because people would be able to feel and heal properly and at their pace too, which is important in relationships.
