You know when they say you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone? Yeah, they weren’t lying especially when it comes to the transition between childhood to adulthood.
Honestly, if you’re not strong, you’ll break down more often than you’d expect.
Yes, adulthood has it’s perks, like the freedom to make your own choices. It’s really shocking, you’re like, “So it’s okay for me to go out with friends without having to ask my parents weeks before? Wow.” That there is a reason to celebrate but sadly that initial rush you feel starts to fade and then the other things start to set in and you start to wonder if “freedom” is the only perk you get to have as an adult. At some point, you even start to crave the authority the parents had over you to avoid confrontations but the “my parents won’t allow me” card is gone, and now you have to decline with your full chest. No more hiding for you. Yes, you can now feel guilty for not being there for your friend when they were there for you without using your parents as emotional cushions.
As a child you enjoy some perks such as the protection and security that comes with somebody being responsible for you and your well being. Even the government protects you. For example, if you commit a crime, you can’t go to jail, they’d send you to some form of rehabilitation or reintegration program, in cases where the child is in detention the parents pay for bail and are held responsible, because in the eyes of the law you’re too young to be punished and you can still be saved. Crime is the the big bad one and yet there’s protection. But in contrast to that, as an adult, even the act of self defense can be punished if you don’t have a good lawyer.
But let’s think smaller, nobody talks enough about the expectations from everyone around you. It never ends. If you’re in the university you have to come out with good grades, then when you’re done you have to get a job almost immediately- get a job! Any job! And after a while “any job” isn’t good enough, you have to get a good paying job, then after that- “oh when are you getting married?” and when you finally get married (especially for women in their twenties), you are expected to have children and then raise your children right because if they don’t turn out right you’d be judged. You literally can not catch a break from the moment you hit adulthood because everyone always expects things of you, everyone wants to see what you do next. The crazy thing about it is that you can feel the pressure and the weight of expectations even if they do not speak to you directly, you can just tell that they expect certain things from you and you keep pushing and pushing yourself in other to get those things done but as you accomplish one goal there are several that you haven’t accomplished.
Let’s not even talk about the financial responsibilities. Before adulthood, you could always run to your parents or like aunts and uncles for help but then you jam adulthood which is full of tears, credit and debit alerts and at the same time you’re still the one sending money to your parents and cousins.
You’re asking me to get married? Have you seen the price of diapers? Formula? The whole financial responsibilities that come with having kids?
It’s like the more money you make, the more your responsibilities increases. It is every day that you’re just hearing debit alerts and you’re left wondering- “How did I even finish my money?” Sadly, it’s a mystery that we would all like to solve.
But let’s think even smaller, remember how you’d rush home after school, you’d take your bath, do your homework if you have any and then proceed to plant yourself in front of the television to watch cartoon network? Your mum would even bring food for you (sometimes you’d complain about the food) while you seat comfortably like kings and queens until it’s your bed time and your dad wants to watch the ten o’clock news? Remember how you’d think to yourself, when I grow up I’m going to be able to stay up as late as I want? Yeah, that’s not happening. As an adult you’d be begging for sleep. If you’re in the university and you have a job, good luck juggling work, school and a social life. What exactly is sleep? You ask yourself and you don’t know because you’re struggling to meet up with deadlines and barely even have time for yourself. You’ll even eat anything you see while taking a break or sometimes while working or you’d not even eat at all. You think food is cheap and you can eat what you like? Have you heard of “Sapa”?
You said you’ll travel the world, you said you’re always going to dress to kill but the reality is you don’t have the time, the energy or the even the money you need to partake in those activities.
One thing i’ve learnt is that as kids, we romanticise growing up because we are only allowed to see the good parts and that was because the adults around us made the most out of their situations. It’s tough but we should carry on the tradition and make the most out of every situation as adults- romanticize adulthood like we did when we were little, maybe look at it with a childish lense like looking at the bright side of life! Celebrate your wins, either big or small, take each task one step at a time and do not allow the weight of expectations from others crush you. Take time off, use that savings to go on a vacation once in a while, it doesn’t have to be somewhere too fancy- just enjoy a change of scenery, buy that dress you want for yourself- “Chop life so life no go chop you!”
Remember that you don’t have to overexert yourself to please people. We are all still trying to figure it out and we will. We will figure it all out as we go and grow.
