Niyi opens up about his past relationships and shares his thoughts on the popular notion of all exes being bad in an interview with Precious, in house contributor at Safespace.
There’s usually a sort of hate for exes that had me thinking, why are exes seen as some kind of evil? Are all exes really bad news? Since most of us are exes in some way, are we all bad at love?
My interview with Niyi helped in clearing things up a bit too.
Can we get to know you please?
Well, there isn’t much to know, I’m Niyi, a guy, one head, two eyes two ears…you know the rest.
Lmao. Of course. Before moving on to the main thing, we’ll like to know if you are currently in a relationship.
No, no I’m not. Currently, I identify as aromantic.
Oh wow. Do you mind telling us a little bit more on that?
Well I’ve dated in the past, and I’m usually the terrible ex, who gets tired of the whole thing after a week, so I decided to spend some time off relationship and it’s been amazing so far.
You being the terrible ex makes the whole point of this interview funny and a lot easier. But, I’ll still ask the questions intended. What’s your opinion on exes and this phenomenon on them being evil?
Err, some people are terrible so yes. But if someone keeps blaming. all their exes and painting them as the devil, they’re really the ones that need to be checked. As a matter of fact, “ex-blaming” should be a huge red flag.
They probably don’t take responsibility for anything.
Hmm… Truer words were never said. Thank you wise sage. Do you have any ex you think isn’t bad?
I’m a dumb sage, trust me. I think most of my exes were really incredible people though.
That’s amazing. Is there a favorite? One you can talk about?
The favorite has to be Mariam. I’m a year or two older than her (can’t remember clearly now) but she was and is wiser than I am. She’s always been wiser. And a part of me always thinks if I had stayed with her, I would have achieved a whole world of things and not just be mediocre…like I think I am currently.
The sage drops the crown. Wow
If you don’t mind sharing, how did the relationship come to be?
Sure.
We met in ICAN class, it was in 2013 and I’d just turned 18 and preparing for JAMB.
So, my dad had forced me to start ATS (which is like “pre-ICAN”). Now for someone like me who had never done”accounting” a day in his life because I was a science student all through secondary school, doing ATS wasn’t going to be very easy.
Mariam on the other hand was a commercial student in secondary school, but according to her, her teacher was whack and her account was never balanced…lmao.
So when she realized I was new to the whole thing, she kinda took me under her wings and started tutoring me after class. For me, I really just liked spending time with her so when she asks me if I understood what the lecturer taught us, I’d gladly reply “no”.
Okay, that’s the backstory, how did the relationship come to be?
I had this silly friend in class then, Morire. Very mischievous human being. One time I couldn’t come to class because I was sick, Morire asked Maria if she likes me, if she wanted to date me.
He claimed, falsely of course, that I’d confided in him that I’m in love with her but I’m too shy to ask her out. Man was using her to catch cruise.
So the next day, at our usual after-class tutorial, Mariam asked me out and because I was young and I liked to spend time with her, I said YES, even tho I knew I didn’t like her in that way.
Aww. This is really nice story. But, why do you think the relationship didn’t work out then?
Me. I’m the reason it didn’t work.
She loved me, she still does, as a friend, she was always pushing me to study for JAMB, study for our exams, trying to make me get more serious with life, but me, I wanted cruise.
That was the first reason. Then, I met someone, Ibukun (who’s my best friend today) and her ass started confusing me. I lost my senses fam.
I started skipping class because IBK ( who was learning how to bake then) would come to my house and we’d engage in cunnilingus activities, and we’d laugh and everything.
It was actually the first time I’d felt that way for anyone. Anyway, I introduced them to each other, they even became friends, but after a while, I started to get so tired of Mariam… And I think she knew it but she wanted to fight for the relationship and at this time, I was already asking IBK out, following her to church, her mum loved/loves me(bear in mind her mum doesn’t like anyone!)
Oh wow.
She’d always said NO based on the fact that I had a girlfriend and she won’t date someone who has a girlfriend. So I started giving Mariam an attitude because I didn’t want to outrightly break up with her…I wanted her to do the breaking up, I felt like it would give her a kind of “soft landing”.
She read the writing on the wall, and she broke up with me
This was quite the twist.
Oh no, that’s not the twist. The twist is coming. Lmao, I told IBK it’s over between Mariam and myself, and guess what the idiot said?
What did she say?
She said “I can’t believe you broke up with your babe because of me, that means you’d break up with me too when you meet someone new”
Smart girl.
Are you kidding me?
The other plot twist is Mariam dated Morire. To spite me. Yeah, so like I said, I was the jerk.
Welp. Guess that didn’t turn out as well as you’d expected.
It’s for the best.
I guess… But thank you for sharing your story with us.
It was a pleasure.
Thank you for reading today’s Twenties Weekend Letter. If you’d like to share your thoughts or do small amebo on the “exes” subject, please send us a DM on our social media platforms.
If you’d like to interview with us, let us know! We don’t mind, we actually love talking to new people and our selection process has zero stress.
